CNBC - The Bottom Is In! L.O.L.

Last night I was feeling slightly down and depressed, I really needed a good laugh. So I switched on the only thing that can do that. Not Comedy Central, not Night at the Apollo, not even Richard Pryor Stand up, I switched on CNBC. I was intrigued as some talking heads jabbered away similar to South Park's depiction of a Canadian (I intend no offense with that reference.). There was a man; his name escapes me, making large claims. He was talking about how the recession will officially end in the next quarter. Quite a broad claim when you see reports of increased foreclosures, etc, etc. Keep in mind these are the same talking heads that denied we would be in a recession. But what really intrigued me was not what this man was saying, but what the Fast Money people were doing. They were playing a game of reverse psychology with the viewers.

There was an Asian Lady on the show who literally acted like she was hanging on this man's every word. She actually asked this: "Are we too late to get in the markets to take advantage of this recovery?" And many of the others chattered to the same effect. They tried to hint that you were, in fact, too late to take advantage of the recovery, but they tried to not push this notion too far as to convince the viewer's they were too late. The man spoke of a stock that had doubled in value recently, but was still down 90% from its high. He spoke of the value, and all I could think of was a sheep herder rounding up the viewers.

At that moment, it was quite hilarious to watch, in hindsight, quite scary. I feel bad for all who are being misled by these people they place their faith in. Perhaps I shouldn't, as some would say, they choose to follow these people.

VAT Tax - Washington, pack your bags!

With all of this new proposed spending and lack of tax revenue Washington is doing what it does best - figuring out how to wring the American people out of their bread and butter. The new proposed idea is a VAT tax. If you're unsure of what that is, it is a tax that is paid by everyone, for basically everything. Sounds broad right? That is because it is supposed to be. For a more in depth description of a VAT tax I suggest you read this.

I think it is high time for Washington to learn how to live thriftily in this kind of economic down turn just as many Americans have had to do. I find it grotesquely ill mannered that the six and seven figure incomes sitting in Washington can simply say "Tax the serfs." They talk about paying it back by funding health care. We haven't heard that before! Take your social programs and send them to where they belong. We don't want your taxes, we don't want your waste, we don't want your social programs, and we don't want your awful ideas.

I am vehemently against this terrible idea and infinitely for Washington learning how to trim fat. They can cut their salaries, instead of hike our prices, they can stop driving and going to meetings (AKA European Vacations) on the tax payers tab, they can stop spending multi-millions of dollars on campaigning. Since all of our political leaders are bought and paid for by corporate America anyways, why don't they just raise their fees to the corporations? I'm tired of their garbage ideas, their political spin, and how they pretend to serve their constituents at election time. Even elections have become a farce! How extraordinary, I can either vote for Guy #1 that wants to sell my rights up the river, or Guy #2 that wants to sell my rights up the river. WHOMEVER SHALL I CHOOSE?

With all of these exciting ideas floating around Congress I'm surprised their heads don't explode from the sheer fact that they're required to breath in order to live. I need the VAT tax like a man in the middle of the ocean needs a cinder block. Washington, PACK YOUR BAGS!

GMAC to get another 7.5 Billion

When I consider what to invest in, I think of the worst possible company, then I multiply it by two. Then, to make sure I've made a really good decision I beat my head against a cement wall repeatedly then walk into oncoming traffic. Once in the hospital I press the button that releases morphine a couple of times then call up my stock broker and scream Buy repeatedly.

Lucky for me, the government has decided to do all of those steps for me. They've recently decided that they should invest in GMAC, because when you think of things that don't deserve to die, you undoubtedly think of fine companies like AIG, GMAC, Chrysler, and GM. So toss them another 7.5 Billion, because the brilliant people in congress thought we should give the treasury department a blank check. With our governments level of transparency, only rivaled by a black hole, of course we can trust them to be responsible with 700 billion dollars. Now we're hearing reports that they're having trouble accounting for it?

But of course, as long as there is Dancing with the stars, American Idol, and various other flagrant wastes of life, the people won't voice their thoughts. Trust them, they have everything under control, now back to the show. The television is the single most powerful diversionary technological innovation since the advent of sleight of hand. Enjoy it while you've got it because if you let the government to continue operating this way, your television show's days are numbered. Maybe if American Idol was cancelled due to government intervention people would get out into the streets and voice their frustrations we might see some activism.

Nevermind the fact that Social Security cash has been replaced by Government bonds that will have to be paid back with more - tax payer money. Nevermind that, that means we have to fund Social Security twice. Nevermind that the federal deficit is almost on par with GDP, nevermind that we keep proposing multi-trillion dollar budgets YOY, nevermind that congressmen work overnight to eliminate the bill of rights, nevermind that DHS officers declare that the constitution doesn't apply within 100 miles of the border. As long as we have American Idol, all is well.

Where did 9 Trillion Dollars go? Fed's Answer? HAHA, about that...

If you had 9 trillion dollars to account for, wouldn't you know where it went? Not if you're the fed... in fact, you're answer can be "I don't know." Knowing that you're not going to be audited anyways. Man, with this kind of oversight why don't they make all Americans Trillionaires (inflation aside :-P).

The below link has a fine video of a fed representative saying just that: I don't know.

Cops doing bad things

I think we can all attest to seeing police officers sleeping:

Police officers driving through red lights and making illegal U-Turns:

Police officers illegally parking in front of a fire hydrant to have lunch:

On-duty police officers playing solitare in heir cruiser: (blurry video) but here is a picture of another

But I really enjoy the end of the first published article where they make these kids who caught the cop, into bad guys with the following statement: "What may have started out as a joke could cost the officer his job." Shame on you kids for doing your civic duty and watching the watchers!! THE SHAME!!

Government Spending: Charlotte and The Amazing Technicolor Garbage Cans

In case you've ver looked at one of those awful brown garbage cans and thought "Man, this thing really needs expensive artwork plastered to it!" Charlotte may be the place for you. Charlotte plans to spend over $15,000.00 to make a bunch of garbage cans into garbage eating works of art. To make things worse, they are hideous and worthy of being tossed into, ironically enough, another garbage can. While this may seem completely ludicrous it is still better than the 2 trillion dollar federal initiative to stick tiny decorative American flags into all piles of animal feces throughout the country. Nothing screams America like a garbage can with a crappy mosaic on it.

Meanwhile on an unrelated note, hundreds of Charlotte teachers will be receiving their pink slips because of a lack of funding. It seems some clown stole a bunch of money and is attempting to decorate garbage cans with it! To get more on this story by clicking